Fake News

Man convicted for sucking farts out of buttholes sentenced to 2 hours in Federal Prison

Purgatory – A San Francisco man was sentenced to Federal Prison for two hours according to local authorities. The man in question was running around the streets of beautiful San Francisco, pulling random peoples pants down and sucking farts out of their ass. The fart sucking carnage was estimated to last upwards of 15 hours.

During those frightening 15 hours, the streets of San Francisco were a complete chaos. Everywhere you looked you could see men with their pants pulled down to their knees crying. Women sat on the streets bare-assed wondering where their built-up farts went. Fires burned entire buildings. People were screaming, crying and getting the farts sucked out of their ass. Not surprisingly, the entire police force was late to the scene.

Eventually the fart sucking man was caught in the middle of sucking the fart out of a “rather large” lady’s bosom.

Police hauled the fart sucker to the local jail, with farts still built up in his mouth. Later that day he was sentenced to 2 hours in a federal prison. The name of the fart sucker has yet to be released. Stay tuned.

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