Everyone wants to bang a hot old lady. I know I do. They are just so sexy. The way they walk. The way they pull their teeth out before they go to bed. Even the way their posture is like a bridge about close over a polluted river. Damn, I’m getting all worked up just typing this.
The good news is that banging a grandma is much easier than we all thought. In this article I will provide you with essential steps to bang your first grandma. Thank me later when your laying in a quilted bed covered in cat hair panting like a coon in labor.
The surest way to bang a grandma is to dress like an old man. Grandma’s love old men. Old men are your main competition. Make sure to head to your local thrift shop to buy some dead fuckers’ clothes. Be sure to get some worn out slippers and a flannel with some holes in it. Grandma’s go nuts over worn out slippers – trust me – when you wear your worn out slippers to the next bingo gathering you will have dried puss all over your ass.
Head to the local Tuesday night bingo. When you get there wear your newly found thrift shop clothes. Be sure to win bingo at all costs. This even means cheating. Old bitches love a man who wins bingo. If you win an old grandma some stupid prize at bingo you will get your dick sucked for sure.
Make sure to flash a bottle of Viagra around. If an old lady sees your bottle of Viagra, she will know you are DTF. That yellow bottle of Viagra makes a bitch go crazy.
If step one through three hasn’t work you might have found yourself a prude grandma. In this case just tell her you like to fuck the brains out of her. This usually works – 99% of the time.