Fake News

Yanet Garcia is actually an Alien from Planet GIBSISSATAHT!

Yanet Garcia, you may know her as that sexy weather girl. Or that Latino babe with an ass so big, when Yanet turns a corner the ass turns a corner a few seconds later. If you were ever in a McDonalds when the sun is rising, you may have heard those old timers talking about her ass. It is rumored that the only reason why people watch the weather channel is to catch a glimpse of Yanet’s tush.

Here is a picture of Yanet in her prime:

first yanet

Source: RedkingsingH.TV

If you follow Yanet at all on social media you can quickly tell that her ass is, well how do I put this, is her biggest asset. HER ASS IS HER BRAND. She is always posting pictures of ass. Eating some yogurt – ASS! Heading to the beach – ASS! Laying on a bed in lingerie – ASS! I mean just check these pictures out – pure fucking ass!

yanet two

Source: Yanet’s YouTube Channel

Yanet three

Source: Yanet Twitter Post

yanet four

Source: Yanet Reddit Page

If you do enough research into Yanet you will quickly find out that there is more to her than her ass.

Back in 2010 when Yanet was just getting famous there was a rumor going around that Yanet was an alien from another planet. Dark Webmaster, Virgin Fedora (screen name obviously), was the first to hint at such rumor.

Virgin Fedora stumbled upon some crazy photos from Yanet’s old Myspace profile that pretty much prove that Yanet is an alien from another planet. In fact, Virgin Fedora pinpointed exactly what planet Yanet is from. Can you take a guess?

For you noobs of the interwebs that haven’t guessed already the planet is called, GIBSISSATAHT!

GIBISSATAHT is a planet in the multiplanetary solar system of, Hcitbynniksstauqsruoyod. Any college entry level astronomy student would be able to point out where GIBISSATAHT is at exactly in the Hcitbynniksstauqsruoyod solar system. It’s basic knowledge.

Virgin Fedora knew he was onto something when he stumbled upon Yanet’s photos on her old Myspace profile. He quickly saved the alien like photos and uploaded them to the Dark Web.

Sadly, the Illuminati did not take kindly to Virgin Fedora exposing Yanet Garcia’s alien heritage and not only made Virgin Fedora disappear entirely, but also removed all traces of Yanet Garcia’ incriminating alien past.

The Illuminati was smart. They knew that if Yanet Garcia was exposed as an alien the viewership of the weather channel would plummet. Ad revenue would dry up. And the biggest revenue source of the Illuminati – the weather channel – would disappear forever.

There are only a few Dark Webmasters left who knew of Virgin Fedora and her heroic deeds. I can truthfully say that the Illuminati believed they have won. That is until now.

A recent photo of Yanet Garcia as an alien has emerged. I can’t say where I found it. But I am ready to expose Yanet Garcia for who she really is. I know I will likely disappear from existence forever. If you are reading this (Nancy Pelosi – my dear and sexy lover girl), know that I have always loved you and your, “can I speak with a manager haircut”.

Here it is folks. Incriminating evidence that Yanet Garcia is an alien from another planet – with a big ass.

alien yanet

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